No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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