1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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