every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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