Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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