Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize