hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize