Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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