good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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