Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize