there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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