the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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