dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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