I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize