VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize