If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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