Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have post one night stand depression
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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