it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize