I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize