i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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