great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize