There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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