so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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