I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize