was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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