u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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