remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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