I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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