I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think your dad took our porno
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize