Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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