Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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