i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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