I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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