lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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