I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Panties = found
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