the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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