I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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