I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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