you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Congratulations! We have a period
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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