what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
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Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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