very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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