So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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