Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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