Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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