lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize