Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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