Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize