So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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