Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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