just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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