Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
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I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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